Since starting this blog I've jumped around discussing several "busted" expectations surrounding the topic of pregnancy and motherhood. I'm going to press the rewind button for a moment and start at the absolute beginning. I'm going to discuss the much-debated "C" word... Conception.
Now I don't know about all of you, but prior to making the decision that I was ready to get "knocked up", I really didn't think much about Conception. In fact, the only thought I really had was avoiding it. Condoms, the Pill, Pulling-out, Praying to the 'Virgin' Mary... you name it and I did it. While I'm glad that I was safe and I certainly advocate responsible birth control, had I known JUST how difficult it was to get pregnant, I would have saved myself much unneeded stress. (Not to mention all the money I wasted on those one-lined pregnancy tests!)
In fact, I must have missed that biology class in which we learned that an ovum can only 'live' for an absolute maximum of 48 hours, once released into the fallopian tube. It took me 27 years (and thousands of dollars in nursing school debt) to learn that I could only get pregnant one (MAYBE two) days out of an entire month!
I know many of you must be thinking: "What the fuck is that about?" I know, you must have missed that class too, huh? Did you have the same idea I had? When you were ready to get pregnant you would throw away the pill, burn the condoms, and softly whisper in your man's ear, "Honey, you don't have to pull out this time." Yup, my thoughts exactly.
Even more amazing to me, is the fact that even if the sperm is able to wiggle his little tush up to meet the glowing ovum in time, there is only a 25% chance that he will be able to penetrate her walls. (I don't mean to minimize the topic, but this reminds me of a guy's chance of getting a woman to go home with him from the bar. Just because she smiles at him from across the room doesn't mean she's letting him in. Odds are about 25%, from my experience). So on the 1-2 days that it's actually biologically possible to conceive each month, you only have a 25% chance that it will happen.
Shit, I've just realized that I've made it sound as though winning the lottery is easier than getting pregnant. I didn't mean to scare you. After all, most couples (approximately 85%) do conceive within a year of trying. In addition, I have several friends (I actually like to call them bitches), who are able to conceive without even having sex. Okay, maybe that's not true, but I do have a few friends who did conceive on their first try!
With that being said, a year can feel like a long time. After about a month or two of 'just having fun', my husband and I started adding all sorts of techniques to our attempts. I'm sharing this because I know very well that I am not alone. I've spent more time with my legs in the air after sex than should be allowed. (And trust me, I had a lot of time to think about this topic because while all the blood was rushing to my head, my husband was sound asleep!) We tried every position 'known' to promote pregnancy, ovulation calenders, and even conception diets. I even have a good friend, (and I won't mention any names!) who had her husband pray over her bare cooch after sex!
With all of this knowledge in hand, it shouldn't come as a major surprise to me that many of my girlfriends are having trouble Conceiving. Clomid, IVF, and Fertility have sadly become such common words in my regular vocabulary. There are many theories surrounding why this is so, too many to mention here. I will say that I do support the theory that perhaps we are hearing more about infertility because women are now waiting until later in life to start families. Unfortunately, our society is built around the vital importance of gaining financial and professional success, leaving little time for women to take 'breaks' to conceive.
Having lost our first Pregnancy to miscarriage, and then taking what felt like a very long time to conceive following that, I can empathize with the struggles, fear, and pain that surrounds the topic of infertility. I also sat in my physicians office wondering if my body had failed me. I spent many a night crying and feeling guilty that I wasn't 'strong' enough to maintain my pregnancy. (Of course, hindsight has helped me to realize this wasn't the case). I, too, wondered if my husband regretted choosing me as his 'mate'.
Thankfully, we were blessed with a child. I am fully cognisant of the fact that not all women are.
So, I close with this final thought: The first step to getting pregnant, in my humble opinion, is letting go of the expectation that you will get pregnant. By no means is this to say that you shouldn't try or that you should give up hope. Rather, it helped me to let go of the expectations that it will happen naturally and quickly, if at all. It may, if you are a lucky bitch! But for many of us it is a long and stressful process. Try, if you can, to enjoy it. Now, get off this computer and go find your man!!
Now I don't know about all of you, but prior to making the decision that I was ready to get "knocked up", I really didn't think much about Conception. In fact, the only thought I really had was avoiding it. Condoms, the Pill, Pulling-out, Praying to the 'Virgin' Mary... you name it and I did it. While I'm glad that I was safe and I certainly advocate responsible birth control, had I known JUST how difficult it was to get pregnant, I would have saved myself much unneeded stress. (Not to mention all the money I wasted on those one-lined pregnancy tests!)
In fact, I must have missed that biology class in which we learned that an ovum can only 'live' for an absolute maximum of 48 hours, once released into the fallopian tube. It took me 27 years (and thousands of dollars in nursing school debt) to learn that I could only get pregnant one (MAYBE two) days out of an entire month!
I know many of you must be thinking: "What the fuck is that about?" I know, you must have missed that class too, huh? Did you have the same idea I had? When you were ready to get pregnant you would throw away the pill, burn the condoms, and softly whisper in your man's ear, "Honey, you don't have to pull out this time." Yup, my thoughts exactly.
Even more amazing to me, is the fact that even if the sperm is able to wiggle his little tush up to meet the glowing ovum in time, there is only a 25% chance that he will be able to penetrate her walls. (I don't mean to minimize the topic, but this reminds me of a guy's chance of getting a woman to go home with him from the bar. Just because she smiles at him from across the room doesn't mean she's letting him in. Odds are about 25%, from my experience). So on the 1-2 days that it's actually biologically possible to conceive each month, you only have a 25% chance that it will happen.
Shit, I've just realized that I've made it sound as though winning the lottery is easier than getting pregnant. I didn't mean to scare you. After all, most couples (approximately 85%) do conceive within a year of trying. In addition, I have several friends (I actually like to call them bitches), who are able to conceive without even having sex. Okay, maybe that's not true, but I do have a few friends who did conceive on their first try!
With that being said, a year can feel like a long time. After about a month or two of 'just having fun', my husband and I started adding all sorts of techniques to our attempts. I'm sharing this because I know very well that I am not alone. I've spent more time with my legs in the air after sex than should be allowed. (And trust me, I had a lot of time to think about this topic because while all the blood was rushing to my head, my husband was sound asleep!) We tried every position 'known' to promote pregnancy, ovulation calenders, and even conception diets. I even have a good friend, (and I won't mention any names!) who had her husband pray over her bare cooch after sex!
With all of this knowledge in hand, it shouldn't come as a major surprise to me that many of my girlfriends are having trouble Conceiving. Clomid, IVF, and Fertility have sadly become such common words in my regular vocabulary. There are many theories surrounding why this is so, too many to mention here. I will say that I do support the theory that perhaps we are hearing more about infertility because women are now waiting until later in life to start families. Unfortunately, our society is built around the vital importance of gaining financial and professional success, leaving little time for women to take 'breaks' to conceive.
Having lost our first Pregnancy to miscarriage, and then taking what felt like a very long time to conceive following that, I can empathize with the struggles, fear, and pain that surrounds the topic of infertility. I also sat in my physicians office wondering if my body had failed me. I spent many a night crying and feeling guilty that I wasn't 'strong' enough to maintain my pregnancy. (Of course, hindsight has helped me to realize this wasn't the case). I, too, wondered if my husband regretted choosing me as his 'mate'.
Thankfully, we were blessed with a child. I am fully cognisant of the fact that not all women are.
So, I close with this final thought: The first step to getting pregnant, in my humble opinion, is letting go of the expectation that you will get pregnant. By no means is this to say that you shouldn't try or that you should give up hope. Rather, it helped me to let go of the expectations that it will happen naturally and quickly, if at all. It may, if you are a lucky bitch! But for many of us it is a long and stressful process. Try, if you can, to enjoy it. Now, get off this computer and go find your man!!
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